Time for a Checkup

This week was another round of labs and doctor visits for me, which also meant another round of bruises left behind from the needles. I seriously bruise like a peach! I'm okay with these little remnants of my time in the lab though, because I know how important the results are to my health. Yesterday was my meeting with Dr. Thomas. The first thing we discussed was my TSH, which determines whether or not my current dosage of my thyroid medication is working properly.  Because I was diagnosed as Stage I with a lower risk of recurrence, my results this time around of 0.4 was a great number. Patients who are not free of disease or who have a higher chance of the cancer returning usually need to be suppressed to a lower level than that.  He is also hesitant to try and suppress my levels any more because of the heart palpitations I have been having. So, I'll keep on truckin' at 100 mcg!

Another very important test that they did was on my thyroglobulin (try saying that 3 times fast), otherwise known as the tumor marker. The results on this one help us to see if there might be any cancer trying to return. Ideally, the thyroglobulin levels should be as low as possible (close to zero) because I should have no cancerous cells left. This time around, mine was less than 0.1, or barely detectable. As my doctor monitors me over time, those levels should remain constant. If there is an increase, that is a signal that the cancer is recurring.  

While my physical health has been pretty great lately, I have noticed some new patterns in my moods and in the way I handle stress.  I have noticed an increase in feelings of anxiety and my emotions have been on a bit of a roller coaster lately. I talked with Dr. Thomas about these symptoms to try and get to the bottom of what is going on. There are a few things that might be happening. One possibility is my medication still trying to regulate all of the hormones and balance everything out. Another is just more stress than usual combined with the fact that it's winter. Or, it could be that (even though I may not voice it out loud) there is still a fear in the back of my mind about my cancer and the potential of it returning. He said that this last one is fairly common within the first year or two of a diagnosis too. All of this is really good to know because I was starting to feel a little crazy.

What I'm learning through this process is that, for the most part, I just go about my daily life and don't give cancer a second thought. Everything is normal. I feel generally healthy and happy. Life goes on. And then there are weeks like this one that lead up to those lab results. Weeks when I let the fear and worry about my health get the best of my emotions and I just can't deal with it all. If you're around me during those days and I start to act unlike my normal self, would you do me a favor? Just smile and tell me everything is going to be fine.

A Weighty Subject

Okay, here's the deal. I'm thin. I've always been thin and I am constantly reminded by people around me about my body size. Aside from the genetic factor, the main contributor to my twig arms and legs used to be my overactive thyroid.  My metabolism was kicked into high gear for who knows how long. Once my thyroid was removed, one of my fears was that its absence would cause me to gain weight. While I didn't gain a substantial amount of weight like other thyroid cancer patients I had read about, I did gain some.  This is not uncommon for patients who have undergone a thyroidectomy, especially those who have a difficult time getting their medication regulated.  Not to mention so many patients who are completely taken off their medication for weeks at a time before their treatments and scans. Talk about a roller coaster ride!

After my diagnosis, I decided that as soon as my recovery and treatments were done, I wanted to try and find ways to be a much healthier version of me. I wanted to take control of myself and my body back because I felt so out of control for so many months.  When a co-worker offered the chance to sign up for a weight loss challenge, I saw it as my inspiration to try and reach my goal to be more conscious about my health. And you know what? I'm glad I signed up. Did people question my intentions for joining the challenge? Yep! Have I had to dodge comments about my weight? You betcha! Am I going to win the challenge?  Not a snowball's chance in a CAT scanner (ahem - Sheldon).  But for me, that's not the point at all. In fact, I don't WANT to win. My $10 entry fee was a total donation to whomever the amazingly dedicated person is that loses the most weight. I wanted to shed the pounds that I gained after my thyroid was removed...and I'm proud to say that I did! I am slowly working my way back to being stronger and healthier, and that's all I really care about.

Let's all just stop and think about this for a minute: How many of us would ever consider telling a woman how fat she is or that she should really work out more? So, why is there a double standard here? I hear comments all the time about how skinny I am or how I don't need to work out because I don't have any weight to lose. This makes me feel incredibly awkward and guilty for wanting to do something that makes me feel good about myself. 

None of us want to feel judged about our bodies, regardless of what size we happen to be. Can I get all hands in now as we agree that we will shower each other with encouraging phrases like, "Wow! You look so great today!" or "Diggin' the new scarf! It really complements your eyes" or "I hope you are feeling as good as you look today!" Who knows? Maybe it will help us all feel a little better about ourselves!