Time for a Checkup

This week was another round of labs and doctor visits for me, which also meant another round of bruises left behind from the needles. I seriously bruise like a peach! I'm okay with these little remnants of my time in the lab though, because I know how important the results are to my health. Yesterday was my meeting with Dr. Thomas. The first thing we discussed was my TSH, which determines whether or not my current dosage of my thyroid medication is working properly.  Because I was diagnosed as Stage I with a lower risk of recurrence, my results this time around of 0.4 was a great number. Patients who are not free of disease or who have a higher chance of the cancer returning usually need to be suppressed to a lower level than that.  He is also hesitant to try and suppress my levels any more because of the heart palpitations I have been having. So, I'll keep on truckin' at 100 mcg!

Another very important test that they did was on my thyroglobulin (try saying that 3 times fast), otherwise known as the tumor marker. The results on this one help us to see if there might be any cancer trying to return. Ideally, the thyroglobulin levels should be as low as possible (close to zero) because I should have no cancerous cells left. This time around, mine was less than 0.1, or barely detectable. As my doctor monitors me over time, those levels should remain constant. If there is an increase, that is a signal that the cancer is recurring.  

While my physical health has been pretty great lately, I have noticed some new patterns in my moods and in the way I handle stress.  I have noticed an increase in feelings of anxiety and my emotions have been on a bit of a roller coaster lately. I talked with Dr. Thomas about these symptoms to try and get to the bottom of what is going on. There are a few things that might be happening. One possibility is my medication still trying to regulate all of the hormones and balance everything out. Another is just more stress than usual combined with the fact that it's winter. Or, it could be that (even though I may not voice it out loud) there is still a fear in the back of my mind about my cancer and the potential of it returning. He said that this last one is fairly common within the first year or two of a diagnosis too. All of this is really good to know because I was starting to feel a little crazy.

What I'm learning through this process is that, for the most part, I just go about my daily life and don't give cancer a second thought. Everything is normal. I feel generally healthy and happy. Life goes on. And then there are weeks like this one that lead up to those lab results. Weeks when I let the fear and worry about my health get the best of my emotions and I just can't deal with it all. If you're around me during those days and I start to act unlike my normal self, would you do me a favor? Just smile and tell me everything is going to be fine.

Scars or scarves?

There it is.  There's no way around it.  Thyroid cancer leaves a lasting scar.  A scar that is in a very noticeable place.  As you can tell from the picture, mine is obviously a lot more noticeable right now because it is still healing, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little worried about what people will think when they see it.  I know that sounds incredibly shallow, but I have to keep things real here. It's a journey...right?

I especially thought about my scar today because I was scheduled to have my picture taken with the owner of Andy B's, a local bowling alley/entertainment center where we had my son's birthday party over the weekend.  They wanted to take a picture of me for their Facebook page...because I WON A TV!!!  Yep.  Sure did.  But, that's a story for another time. 

Anywho, I fretted about what I should wear for this picture because I wasn't sure if I wanted my visible scar to be seen by thousands of people on Andy B's Facebook page. I could cover it up with a scarf or try and dig up an old turtleneck from the closet archives...or I could just wear what I wanted and not give a hoot.  I opted to give zero hoots, and I've decided that's the attitude I'm going to strive to have during all of this.  

I found the following quote today that really inspired me:

I think I'm going to print it out and tape it to my mirror so I can see it as I'm getting ready everyday. 

Sure, I'm going to wear scarves from time to time because scarves are a great finishing accessory and they're awesome.  But if you see me wearing a scarf, just know that it's not because I'm trying to hide anything.  I'm going to also wear my scar as my latest accessory because it tells a story and it's my own personal reminder about my inner strength.  

Partial...er...Total Thyroidectomy

Surgery day was...weird.  And looooooooooooooooooong. I was told to check in at 8:30, so naturally, I was there at 8:15. I also hadn't had anything to eat or drink since 6:00 the night before. Then as luck would have it, they weren't ready to take me back to surgery until around 2:00, so I got to spend most of my day in what I called the surgery "holding cell" longing for a double cheeseburger, tots, and a milkshake from Sonic. I was hangry, people. HANGRY.  

Keep in mind, my only two previous hospital experiences were on the 5th floor maternity wing where everything was so quiet and calm...and private. There was definitely nothing private about this part of the hospital.  Loud talkers in the waiting room, people scarfing down their McDonald's IN FRONT OF other hangry people who hadn't eaten in hours, hearing Betty's entire medical history on the other side of the curtain.  It prompted me to take this selfie at about half-past-crazy:

When the surgeon finally came back to talk to me about the plan for the day, I was ready to get it all over with. He talked about the plan to only remove the right side of my thyroid, which I was prepared for. What I was NOT prepared for was for him to say that he would only be taking the right side since I had a hot nodule. SAY WHAT?!?!?! All this time I've been thinking I have this cold nodule that is more likely to be cancerous, and now the surgeon is telling me I have a hot nodule?  He could clearly see the confusion on our faces, so he pulled up the report and read it aloud: "You have a nodule on the right thyroid gland which is producing excess hormones."  So, yep.  That sounds like a hot nodule to me! I have no idea where the confusion about the type of nodule came from - If I was told incorrectly, or if I heard it wrong, or if it was just too much information for me to process at first and I was just making up my own stories.  Whatever the reason, this was the best case scenario because it is extremely rare for a hot nodule to be cancerous. Hooray! 

I was wheeled back and prepped for surgery...and took a good 2-3 hour nap.

When I woke up, they took me to my semi-private room where I would be staying the night (my roomie affectionately called it our suite at the Hilton). Curtis was there to meet me and fill me in on what the surgeon had told him.  During surgery, the doctor removed the right half as we had discussed. After removing it, it was sent to pathology to be examined further. Because the doctor was so confident that there were no malignancies in my nodule, especially with it being hot, he was preparing to stitch me back up and get me ready for recovery.  It was at that time that the lab called back with the surprising results that they had found cancer. The folks in pathology were even so surprised that they got a 2nd opinion on it to make sure. So, the doctor went back in to remove the rest of my thyroid. 

I am so, SO thankful that they found the cancer right away while I was still there in that operating room. I am thankful for the surgeon, the nurses, and those beautiful people in the lab who caught it immediately so that I could get it taken care of right then and there.

The Long and Winding Road

Here are a few things I have learned about thyroid cancer throughout this process:

• The diagnosis rate has increased over the past several years.
• Approximately 62,000 people will be diagnosed this year alone
• Women (especially those in my age bracket) are more likely than men to have it
• The type I have (papillary) accounts for about 80% of thyroid cancers

Diagnosing thyroid cancer can be a very tricky thing, and I consider myself extremely fortunate for it to have been discovered at all.  Here is the timeline of my long and winding road.

Spring of 2013:

I went in for a routine physical with my primary care physician.  Everything looked great at the appointment, however I mentioned to her that I had been having some heart palpitations, but I didn't know if they should be cause for concern or not.  She thought it might be a good idea to check further to make sure I didn't have any kind of heart condition, so she ordered for me to wear a heart monitor for a few weeks to see what might be going on.

Summer of 2013:

I wore the heart monitor for about 3 weeks, which entailed calling in the recordings on a landline phone every day...which meant I had to make several trips either to my parents' house or my husband's office.  Because, seriously - who has a landline phone these days? The monitor showed that I was having premature ventricular contractions, but that it was benign and would normally just be treated with a beta blocker.  I opted not to be put on the beta blocker though because we were hoping to have another baby in the near future.  

September 2013-May 2014:

This was happening...

...so my focus was completely elsewhere for a while and I didn't really think any more about my heart.

March 2015:

I went back for my first routine physical since the 2013 appointment because my ObGyn had been my primary care doctor during and immediately following my pregnancy.  My doctor asked about my heart palpitations, and I told her I was still having them daily but that I hadn't been concerned about them.  She decided to order a blood test just to check my TSH (Thyroid Stimulating Hormone) levels and make sure there wasn't anything going on with my thyroid.  I thought nothing of having this blood test done because I felt healthy, just completed a healthy pregnancy, and wasn't having any other symptoms to lead me to believe there was a problem.

Later that week, I received an email from my physician that my TSH levels were suppressed.  Because of that and the fact that I was having heart palpitations, she was concerned about hyperthyroidism.  I was then referred to Dr. Thomas, my endocrinologist.

April 2015:

I went in for my first visit with Dr. Thomas.  We reviewed my medical history, the results of the lab work, and any other symptoms I might be having.  Through our discussion, he was pretty confident that it was a classic case of hyperthyroidism, or Graves' Disease.  Basically, my thyroid was overproducing the hormone, which was causing my metabolism, heart rate, etc. to speed up.  

Towards the end of the appointment, he decided to do a quick "neck check" to feel my thyroid.  It was at that point that he discovered that I had a nodule on the right side of my thyroid.  When he had me feel it, I couldn't believe there was this lump on my neck that I had NO CLUE was there!  At that point, he wanted to do an ultrasound on it right away, so he took me back to another room to look at it further.  

During the ultrasound, he explained to me that there are two types of thyroid nodules: hot and cold.  Hot nodules act as a working part of the thyroid, so there is activity in them.  It is extremely rare for hot nodules to be cancerous. Cold nodules produce no activity at all...so basically just a lump serving no purpose.  It is more common to find cancer in a cold nodule, but most still turn up benign. The only way to tell what type of nodule I had was to do a 3 part thyroid uptake test, so he got me on the schedule for the following week.

Something interesting to know about thyroid cells that might help you understand how the uptake test works:  They are the only cells in the body that absorb iodine.  So, for this test I had to go in to radiology one afternoon to take a radioactive iodine tracer, then report back early the next morning for my first scan.  The purpose of the scan is to measure how much of the tracer was taken up by my thyroid.  They check it at certain time intervals after you take the pill, so I had to go back for the 2nd scan later that afternoon.  Painless process, but just more of a hassle to go back and forth to radiology for those two days.

This is the part of the journey that has gotten a little confusing for me.  I met with Dr. Thomas after the uptake test, and he wanted to put me on a beta blocker to regulate my symptoms of the heart palpitations.  He shared with me that my most recent blood test came back with even lower TSH levels than the previous one.  He also discussed the results of the uptake test with me.  For whatever reason, I left that appointment thinking that I had a cold nodule.  As I go further in to the story, you'll see why I am now unsure of what I understood.  Anyway, he wanted to see me back in a couple of months to do another blood test as well as a biopsy of the nodule.

August 26, 2015:

Biopsy day.  A biopsy of a thyroid nodule is also called a Fine Needle Aspiration (FNA). During the procedure, Dr. Thomas used a thin needle to collect 5 samples from the nodule. He numbed the area first with some extremely cold spray, so it was fairly painless. Just uncomfortable as I was able to feel the pressure from the needles.  

To ensure he was collecting from the right spot, he also used the ultrasound machine to locate the nodule during the procedure. It was when he showed the nodule to Curtis on the screen that I had pretty much confirmed in my mind that I had cancer. I remember his exact words: "Here, you can see the nodule and you can see how it is encapsulated on this side here.  Usually they are encapsulated on all sides, but you can see how this one appears to be growing out on this side."   Yeah.  That didn't sound good at all.  

I was told that, regardless of what the results happened to be, Dr. Thomas would want to discuss them with me over the phone and that I should expect to hear from him within the week. Let the nervous waiting begin...

August 28, 2015:

My phone rang and I immediately felt my heart drop.  The biopsy results were back and it was considered "atypia of undetermined significance".  In other words, the biopsy was abnormal, but they weren't able to conclude 100% that it was cancer.  Dr. Thomas wanted to speak to me in person that afternoon.  It's a good thing I work with the most amazing people ever who will drop everything to help because I literally hung up the phone, grabbed my purse, and walked out of my classroom.  

During the visit with Dr. Thomas, he explained that with what he saw on the ultrasound, the results from the biopsy, and the type of nodule I had, he wanted to remove it. Basically, there were three possible outcomes:  

1. Best case scenario: I could plan on having only the right side removed.  They would immediately send it to pathology, and if it came back as benign then I would still have the left side of my thyroid. 

2. Plan on having only the right side removed, but if malignancies are found while I'm in the operating room, they will do a full removal right then.

3. OR, there is a possibility that any malignancies might not turn up until the full report comes back in a week.  If that happens, you'll come back in for a 2nd surgery to remove the rest. (Which sounded like the WORST possible scenario to me!!)

4. Plan on a total thyroidectomy, then undergo the Radioactive Iodine treatment to kill all remaining thyroid cells, cancerous or not. 

I asked Dr. Thomas point blank what he thought I should do.  He told me that if he was giving this news to his sister or his wife, he would tell them to have the entire thyroid removed.  That was the moment I knew how serious he thought my situation was.  I could tell that he felt pretty confident that I had cancer.  I spent the rest of that weekend feeling absolutely sick to my stomach.

September 3, 2015:

I met with the surgeon (actually his nurse) to discuss the plan for my operation and schedule my surgery date.  At that appointment, I learned that the surgeon wanted to take the least aggressive route possible.  The plan was to remove the right side only and then have it checked out by pathology.  I wasn't sure how I felt about this plan because I had already spent the past week preparing myself to have a full thyroidectomy.  I explained my feelings to the nurse, but she went into further detail about some of the risks involved with rushing right in and removing the whole thing.  There is a higher risk of damaging the vocal cords, as well as these tiny little things called the parathyroid glands.  Apparently, these little guys are pretty important as they help the body regulate calcium.  There are two parathyroid glands on each side of the thyroid, so a partial removal ensures that there will be two working ones left while a full removal increases the risk of damaging all of them. I appreciated that information and put my trust in the fact that this surgeon is highly regarded and is an expert at what he does. Surgery was scheduled for September 25th.

My Name is Alysia. I Have Cancer.

My name is Alysia.  I am a 35 year old wife, teacher, and mother of two young children. My life took a dramatic turn last Friday when I was officially diagnosed with Papillary Thyroid Carcinoma.  Carcinoma...CANCER.  

I still haven't fully come to terms with the fact that I have this diagnosis.  I have been wandering through the last several days in a bit of a fog. It doesn't seem real.  It's certainly not fair.  I keep telling myself and everyone around me that it's almost over and that as soon as this incision on my neck fades into a barely noticeable scar, all of this will be behind me.  But the more I think about it, the more I realize that my life is going to be completely different from now on.  

My surgery last Friday left me without a thyroid, and the Radioactive Iodine treatment (RAI) that I will undergo in a few weeks will kill all of the remaining thyroid cells left in my body.  I don't know how much you know about your thyroid, but as it turns out, it's kind of an important part of your body.  Admittedly, I knew nothing about it before I found out there were problems with mine.  Allow me to educate you.

Your thyroid is a butterfly shaped gland that sits at the front of your neck.  It produces a hormone called thyroxine (T4) that helps your body maintain a healthy metabolism, as well as regulating your weight and body temperature.  Without your thyroid, your body goes into a state of hypothyroidism because you are no longer producing the T4 hormone.  This can cause fatigue, weight gain, depression, and memory problems.  

Because I no longer have a thyroid, I will rely on a medication called Levothyroxine to help my body regulate all of those functions.  I will take this medicine every day.  For the rest of my life.  It might take a while for us to find the perfect dosage for my body, but right now I'm on a middle-of-the-road amount.  I am hopeful that this dosage will be close to what my body needs so I won't have to experience the dramatic highs and lows I know some people have had to endure when going through this.  Did I mention that I'm a teacher and a mom?  I don't have time to feel sick. 

I have a post-op appointment scheduled with my surgeon this Friday.  At that time, I should have the full pathology report and will hopefully have even more specifics about my cancer. I realize that in everything I have read and from what all of the doctors have told me that the type of cancer I have is very treatable...even curable, which is excellent news.  And while I am definitely going to make the best out of the situation I am in and I will continue to look for positives, I also know that even though there's a great chance I will be able to get rid of all of the cancer in my body, I will still be living with a lifelong, chronic illness. This illness has already kept me from doing my job as a mom this week, and I know there will be more days ahead of me when I won't be able to be there for my kids as much as I would like. I'm going to continue to fight to make sure that those bad days are kept to a minimum so I can live the most normal life possible for the two best things that ever happened to me.