A Fading Scar and a Blossoming Friendship

There have been lots of things about the past week that have been difficult.  One of the hardest is being separated from my kids.  At this point, it is safe for me to be in contact with other adults (hooray!)...but still not children (boooooooo!) since their little thyroids are so active in helping them grow.  Any radiation they might receive from my treatment could be damaging to their growth.  I returned home yesterday since I am able to sleep in my own bed now, which is great because I can actually SEE my kids (from a safe distance, of course).  But, it has actually been much more emotional for me than I thought it would be.  I can't hug them yet, or kiss their little cheeks, or pick them up when they fall, or snuggle with them on the couch.  It's just so hard. I can't wait until I'm able to do all of those things later this week!!

One piece of good news is that I had my final visit with my surgeon yesterday and he thinks my scar is healing nicely.  I think so, too.

I still have numbness from the top of my scar to my chin, which will hopefully return to normal within the next year.  But, if not...there's really not much anyone can do about it at this point anyway.  I guess that's a small price to pay compared to having a tumor. 

One thing that makes me super cool right now is that I get to carry around this card...

You know...In case I get pulled over for emitting radiation!!  Don't be jealous.

While this week has obviously had its share of hurdles, there has been one bright, sunny spot. I have made a couple of new friends who are fellow travelers on this long, strange thyca trip. I am so truly thankful to be able to connect with other women who can identify with exactly what I'm going through right now.  One friend, I met in person on Saturday since both of us were "glowing" with radioactivity.  Her name is Lindsay, and although we forgot to take a selfie after our relaxing walk together, we decided that if people ask about our scars whenever we're together, we are going to share the story of our nasty gang fight.  Our Bitmojis speak for themselves.

I have also connected via text message with another girl named Laura.  The three of us are planning to meet for breakfast this Saturday, so I am very excited about that and can't wait to meet Laura in person, too!  

Scars or scarves?

There it is.  There's no way around it.  Thyroid cancer leaves a lasting scar.  A scar that is in a very noticeable place.  As you can tell from the picture, mine is obviously a lot more noticeable right now because it is still healing, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little worried about what people will think when they see it.  I know that sounds incredibly shallow, but I have to keep things real here. It's a journey...right?

I especially thought about my scar today because I was scheduled to have my picture taken with the owner of Andy B's, a local bowling alley/entertainment center where we had my son's birthday party over the weekend.  They wanted to take a picture of me for their Facebook page...because I WON A TV!!!  Yep.  Sure did.  But, that's a story for another time. 

Anywho, I fretted about what I should wear for this picture because I wasn't sure if I wanted my visible scar to be seen by thousands of people on Andy B's Facebook page. I could cover it up with a scarf or try and dig up an old turtleneck from the closet archives...or I could just wear what I wanted and not give a hoot.  I opted to give zero hoots, and I've decided that's the attitude I'm going to strive to have during all of this.  

I found the following quote today that really inspired me:

I think I'm going to print it out and tape it to my mirror so I can see it as I'm getting ready everyday. 

Sure, I'm going to wear scarves from time to time because scarves are a great finishing accessory and they're awesome.  But if you see me wearing a scarf, just know that it's not because I'm trying to hide anything.  I'm going to also wear my scar as my latest accessory because it tells a story and it's my own personal reminder about my inner strength.